#CarrieOn : Grief
I hate it when people say “Grief is a part of life.” They are right. It is. No kidding. And it’s horrible. It’s painful. No matter how many times we experience grief it always... *always*... impacts the trajectory of our lives.
There is one specific part of grief that I dislike more than any other: The morning after the event. The morning after is the second most tragic part of the event...because it’s the single moment in time where we have to relive the realization of the tragedy. Whether it is an anticipated loss due to illness or a devastating tragedy, that morning realization is a heartbreaking and traumatic sensation.
One thing that we forget, when it comes to grief, is that it is ok to feel. It is ok to hurt. It is ok to anguish. Trying to suppress those emotions is not healthy. If you’re the person that someone in grief turns to, be sure to be the safety zone that allows them to feel, that allows them to grieve without prejudice or scrutiny. Help people to feel freely. This is critical in the healing process.
Throughout my career I have experienced substantial grief throughout a myriad of experiences. I have lost colleagues, students, parents of students and close wonderful friends. The only way that I have survived these tragedies has been by accepting the pain and allowing the hurt. Through the hurt I have found healing. Through accepting the process and acknowledging (not stifling) the pain I have found ways to cope. Wounds cause scars. I truly don’t want those scars to disappear, because they have made me who I am...but I don’t want the wounds to permanently disable me either. I carry those scars with me to help others and to help me help others. #CarrieOn